I’m a baller, shot caller…
…You suck at basketball.
Oh yeah? *drinks tequila* I take shots like I’m bulletproof… AND I’M DIABETIC, SO SUCK ME OFF, SAM!
You have problems, Jess… SO SIT THE HELL DOWN, SMOKE YOUR DAMNED HOOKAH, AND GO THE FUCK SLEEP.
It’s okay; I know he likes me.
It’s funny when word travels and people know you’re not seeing anyone anymore. The girls ask if you’re all right and then suggest a night of drinking.
The guys… They start to extend their little feelers out and test the water. Going out on the town for an evening becomes a loaded event.
You wanna go out this weekend?
Maybe. I’ll see if I can get the guys together and we can paint the town red.
Oh. I was thinking it could be more of a one-on-one sort of deal. Maybe we could get dinner and go for a walk in the city. Try our luck on a lottery ticket, drink shots of tequila while we hang our feet over the harbor…
That’s the terrible thing about friends who ask you out: they know all of your favorite things to do.
Eh, what the hell; it sounds like a good time.
Besides, it’d be pretty fucked up if I told him “no” when I have three other dates set up (today, tomorrow, and the day after).
Conclusion: Some people find me cute as fuck.
I really don’t like phone calls as of late. I got one from Chris, the ex. We broke up around this time last year. He was very much in love with one of his previous girlfriends and I couldn’t handle it. The feelings of inadequacy drove me up the wall… it hurt pretty badly knowing that I couldn’t measure up to her in his eyes. I went back home to Korea and didn’t contact him when I returned to Baltimore after the summer.
To this day I don’t know if he drove to the airport to pick me up. My friend Ellie was waiting for me at the terminal. I was drunk as a skunk when I got off the plane (courtesy of tequila from a cowboy and his wife Hester while I was at some airport in Houston) so all thoughts of Chris were pushed from my mind when I saw Ellie. We gathered my luggage and left. The next day I vaguely remembered Chris offering to take me home from the airport. He didn’t text or call; I didn’t text or call. And that’s how we left things. Weirdest break up ever.
Today is the first day Chris and I really communicated. He wants to get dinner later this week. I talked it over with one of my friends. This is the wisdom he imparted.
Me: It was kinda weird. He acted like the past year hadn’t happened. Like things were how they used to be. He said he’s going to be in town and wants to get dinner.
Sam: Ah hell no. You know what he wants for dessert.
Me: I don’t think-
Sam: I’d re-fuck a lot of my exes and they’re all crazier than you, Fizz. Get coffee. Coffee says, “I’ll sip, but I ain’t suckin’.”