Date Night Pass Out

I went on a date last night with some architect. It was pretty boring all things considered. The highlight of the date was some Korean fast food place he showed me in the city. He also paid for my dinner. I’m not entirely sure why he did that. He’s an artsy, hipster-y kind of dude, and I’m….


I’m not always there. And this is as artsy as it gets around here.

My point being he probably saw from the get go we’re from the opposite side of the train tracks, yet he still foot the bill. His Spaniard mannerisms are quite nice.

My date ended short, like, that shit was over within an hour. I drove home, started to put my clocks forward on my stove and microwave (my house appliances haven’t sprung forward yet)… and then I passed out.

Fortunately I stumbled a bit to my knees before I caught the floor, but I fucked up my elbow pretty badly on the unforgiving tile. I don’t know how long I was out for. I remember I felt nauseous and had to take quick, shallow breaths. And then my body locked up. I let the sleep take me. I was so glad I made it home before unconsciousness had its way with me.

This is a fine time to make sure my health insurance is in order.

When Did It Happen?

Sam: Do you know the exact moment?

Me: I’m pretty sure it was when he came over when I was sick. He made me grilled cheese and tomato soup FROM SCRATCH!

Sam: You and your fucking grilled cheeses. You know you can’t have dairy on the paleo diet, right?

Me: Yeah, it blows.

Sam: Well you haven’t started yet… Want a grilled cheese? 

Me: I don’t fall in love with every person who makes me sammiches, Samuel! And it’d take a lot more outta your ass to make me fall hard for you!

Sam: You never know!

Me: Fuck you. I’m making chicken teriyaki and rice, and you’re gonna eat some with me.

I like having company when I can’t sleep. It has now been 24 hours since I’ve had a complete REM cycle.

I’m envious of Sam’s slumber… I’m gonna wake him up now.

Advisory Meeting: Jobs

I bumped into my adviser and decided today would be a good day to get under his skin.

Me: I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, doc. Help me be a good adult!

Tom: Do you have any requirements for your occupation?

Me: I’d prefer if it allowed for me to drink coffee whenever I wanted it. I think we all know I don’t need much sleep to function. Cheers. *tap my coffee cup to his*

Tom: Be a researcher or a lab tech. Or a mom. I think you’d be good at all of those, Fizz.

Wow. Holy shit. Wow.

I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. This is my comeuppance for bothering him all the time.

I Want the Sun to Rise

I have a hard time forgetting people. Sometimes I wish I could wipe my memory clean; I wouldn’t care so much about things that shouldn’t matter anymore. I’d get more sleep, but I think I’d know something was missing.

That’s a lie. I’d still lose sleep.

I’d go insane because I’d miss someone I had no recollection of. I’d be empty and not know why.

Cut out the cancer. Give me a pill. Blind me. Hobble me. Flay the skin from my back. Take my hands from my wrists. Insanity doesn’t suit me.

Take this evening. It is one of many more to come. I never fall asleep before I fall apart. But please flee my mind by sunrise.

I’ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines. Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds. I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind. Would the wind be at my back? Could I get you off my mind this time?

Just Sleep, My Sweet

I take the bad feelings, bottle them up, and smile for the rest of the day. But just before I go to bed, I set them free so they can consume me.

I turn my face to the wall and let the tears trickle onto my pillow. A silent and lonely sorrow.

There were many times when I wished someone would come to check on me and see that I wasn’t well, but that rarely happened. Perhaps I’m a little too good at hiding things.

I hope my future children aren’t good at hiding things. I hope they don’t cry by themselves just before they fall asleep.

Can’t Sleep

With the exception of my laptop, yoga ball, and a lamp, I’m all moved in at my summer apartment. I don’t want to stay in my new place though. I can’t sleep well in a new environment by myself. I wish Michael were here so I could sleep next to someone…

It’s 2240. I know I won’t get a wink of sleep. It’s going to be a long night.


Ohmigod. I really hope the the maintenance guy who was porking my neighbor doesn’t come by to fix it. MY LIFE IS NOT A PORNO! I’d prefer the student maintenance assistant who watched Dare Devil with me. He was normal and didn’t have plumber’s crack.