It’s Been a While, WordPress

As the title implies, holy hell I’ve been absent for quite some time. Ummm… I reckon I might need to do a quick recap on my life, but that will come shortly and probably in mini-episodes as I have to think about over a year’s worth of events.

Why the sudden reappearance? Well, I recently celebrated my 28th birthday and I decided to do a “birthday resolution.” I figured writing again would help keep my brain running as smoothly as possible, and it would serve as a place to store memories should I ever go crazy and lose them (that is a semi-possible way my life can go).

I currently work as a Korean interpreter and have two pediatric appointments tomorrow  morning (one for the ENT surgical unit and the other for nephrology); I have my stage four lung cancer patient in the afternoon. I should probably head to bed since I now have some semblance of responsibility in my life. And my boyfriend also is calling for me to come to bed too.

Ah yes, I also managed to find a nice guy who thought I was cool enough to date (we’ve been together for over a year now). I’m sure I’ll write about him plenty~

It’s nice to be back. I suppose I should re-download the WordPress app on my phone to keep me busy while waiting in hospital rooms. It certainly beats watching  “The View.” How the hell is that mess running in EVERY waiting room?! Fuck me! That shit is always around me like a gypsy fucking curse.

The real reason I’m back:

Writing keeps my mental health in check. I go ape shit when I don’t have a place to vent. One can imagine how I’ve fared over the last year…

I’ve been okay because I have skin thicker than a catcher’s mitt. 

I Want the Sun to Rise

I have a hard time forgetting people. Sometimes I wish I could wipe my memory clean; I wouldn’t care so much about things that shouldn’t matter anymore. I’d get more sleep, but I think I’d know something was missing.

That’s a lie. I’d still lose sleep.

I’d go insane because I’d miss someone I had no recollection of. I’d be empty and not know why.

Cut out the cancer. Give me a pill. Blind me. Hobble me. Flay the skin from my back. Take my hands from my wrists. Insanity doesn’t suit me.

Take this evening. It is one of many more to come. I never fall asleep before I fall apart. But please flee my mind by sunrise.

I’ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines. Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds. I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind. Would the wind be at my back? Could I get you off my mind this time?

By The Skin of My Teeth

“I don’t think I should take things that make me lose my mind.”

“Don’t think of it like that… Think of it as losing your stresses.”

I almost took the plunge. And then my mom called. I swear that woman knows when I’m about to make a stupid decision.

I took four bottles of water and walked to the edge of the desert.

Four days later there was something on the local news about a body being found in the sand not far from where I had stood.

Close call. Thanks, Mum.