About

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My name is Jessica “Fizz.”

I’m a chick. This is what I look like. My mom’s Korean; my dad’s a red head.

I live in Baltimore. I’m 26. I study biology and want to be a doctor researcher; I bet you didn’t see that in my slanty eyes!

I know a little about a lot of things, so I’m pretty dumb to most experts but wow little children.

I’m on the precipice of becoming a real grown up, and I’m scared shitless.

I think you can get a better idea of who I am through my writing. About Me sections rob me of my humility.

I write Dirty Laundry (strange and humorous photos from my online dating escapades) posts every Wednesday and Throwbacks on Thursdays.

Email: heyidontjudge@gmail.com


I grew up in Korea and was groomed to become the next heiress to my family’s brothel. My mother wanted me to make something of myself so she encouraged me to go to college instead. Too late though; I’ve been tattooed with my clan’s mark and will have to return or never see that side of the family again; I have no intentions of going back. Whatever. At least I won’t have to ever carry out a generations old marriage contract between myself and some man who is 14 years my senior. I’ve met him twice; he sucked both times.

I dicked around a lot in college. I went to the University of Tampa but soon left because I had a pretty rough time that involved many alcohol and cocaine-filled hours. I couch surfed my way through California and decided to finish my schooling in Baltimore as a bio major.

I wasn’t finished fucking around though; I found myself working for a drug cartel as a gunslinger. The Boss Man saw me shooting dragonflies out of the sky and offered me a job, as simple as that. I quit that line of work when I had a gun waved in my face because some dumb fuck wanted to haggle prices on Afghan eight balls. Shit got too real too quick, and I told the Boss Man I needed a break. I never returned.

Now I just live life as a silent citizen blogging about stuff that happens in my life.

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