Yesterday was my sister’s birthday. I tried to call her, but there was no answer. Turns out she’s in the hospital because she’s gained a resistance to the drugs she needs to live a normal, healthy life. It feels like she’s running out of treatment options.

And I’m so fucking scared right now.

She means the world to me, and I don’t say that about anyone. If I had to set fire to everything I know to keep her safe, I would. I’d watch it all burn with her by my side. She’d  probably try to make me feel better about it by giving me marshmallows on a stick. There isn’t a mean bone in her body.

When I thought everyone had turned away from me – my mum, dad, and brothers – and I was sitting on the ledge of a 42 story apartment building, she told me she would be there for me and would help me set things aright. She saved me that day. I don’t talk about that very often because of the shame it brings me, but I feel like I need to put out into the world just how much of a good person she is. Maybe some deity will hear and help her.

She has never asked me for anything and has given everything with a smile on her face.

If something happens to her, I’ll go insane.

One thought on “Ellie

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