I went to the super market today and bought a very small watermelon for the express purpose of cutting it in half, eating the innards, and putting my boobies in them.
I also took a eucalyptus oil bath, made a coffee and cocoa face scrub, and styled my hair into beach waves.
It would’ve been a perfect day if it wasn’t for all of the early move-in students making a racket outside…
So imagine me with a brown, muddy-looking face with wavy hair, holding watermelon halves to my tits yelling, “You all are PEASANTS!” from my second floor window.
I am a queen.
- 1/2 cup coffee grounds
- 1/2 cup baking cocoa
- 1 tbs coconut oil
Mix the ingredients and apply in a circular motion to face.
Beach Hair Spray:
- 1 cup hot water
- 2 tsp sea salt
- 1 tsp coconut oil
- 1 tsp argan oil
- a drop of hair gel
Combine ingredients in a spray bottle and apply to damp hair after a shower. Scrunch, braid, or twist hair into a bun. Let air dry.