From On High

I went to the super market today and bought a very small watermelon for the express purpose of cutting it in half, eating the innards, and putting my boobies in them.

I also took a eucalyptus oil bath, made a coffee and cocoa face scrub, and styled my hair into beach waves.

It would’ve been a perfect day if it wasn’t for all of the early move-in students making a racket outside…

So imagine me with a brown, muddy-looking face with wavy hair, holding watermelon halves to my tits yelling, “You all are PEASANTS!” from my second floor window.

I am a queen.

I told some dude about my watermelon bra. We'll see if this one can withstand my barrage of weirdness.
I told some dude about my watermelon bra. We’ll see if this one can withstand my barrage of weirdness. Disregard my typo; I know it’s supposed to be “made** a fairly decent one.”

Face scrub:

  • 1/2 cup coffee grounds
  • 1/2 cup baking cocoa
  • 1 tbs coconut oil

Mix the ingredients and apply in a circular motion to face.

Beach Hair Spray:

  • 1 cup hot water
  • 2 tsp sea salt
  • 1 tsp coconut oil
  • 1 tsp argan oil
  • a drop of hair gel

Combine ingredients in a spray bottle and apply to damp hair after a shower. Scrunch, braid, or twist hair into a bun. Let air dry.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s