I heard a blood curdling shriek from within my building and called my buddy Zach.
Me: Dude, I think someone is being assaulted in my apartment building.
Zach: Whoa, why? Are you okay?
Me: I’m fine. I just heard a bunch of screaming and I’m not sure if I should call the cops.
Zach: BFD. I had a date last night and she screamed. Would’ve sucked if someone had called the cops on us. Just stay in your apartment and we can check the obits tomorrow.