Pass Out

There have been a few times when I’ve been stupid in my life. Some of those stupid times led to my losing consciousness. I’m not talking about having one too many shots of 151; I’m talking about serious trauma. Fortunately, the last time my vision went dark was a few years ago when I lived in Tampa. We were at the beach and the guys had brought frozen water balloons. Some asshole named Dan zinged one at the back of my head and I was out like a light. I woke up under a foot of sand with a hat on my face. The sand tits they put on me were magnificent.

Here are some other instances when I conked out

  • Bit by a snake (copperhead)
  • Choked out during wrestling practice (I was out for only a few seconds)
  • Drowned twice (once the initial struggle of trying to stay alive is gone, drowning is one of the most peaceful things)
  • Blood sugar dropped too low (I peed everywhere… but my brother fireman carried me down to the car anyway)
  • Knocked out by some dude named Trent (he’s the only guy to ever kick my ass…twice. He’s dead now; I didn’t kill him)

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