Man: So, do you want to get out of here? Some place quieter?
Me: Yeah, lemme ask my parole officer real quick.
Dude: Have we met before? I’ve seen you from somewhere.
Me: You ever watch porn?
Guy: *slides beer away from me* Wow, you’re a loud one. Were you a megaphone in your past life?
Me: GIVE ME BACK MY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!