When I’m Not Having It: Bar Edition

Man: So, do you want to get out of here? Some place quieter?

Me: Yeah, lemme ask my parole officer real quick.


Dude: Have we met before? I’ve seen you from somewhere.

Me: You ever watch porn?


Guy: *slides beer away from me* Wow, you’re a loud one. Were you a megaphone in your past life?

Me: GIVE ME BACK MY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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