Grown Up Things: Graduation

I graduate this winter… as long as I don’t royally fuck up. I’m taking summer classes, 20 credit hours in the fall, and a winter class to get the hell out of dodge.

I need to look for a job and a new place to live before I get that diploma. I’ve never looked for apartments save for on-campus housing, and most of the jobs I’ve held were very hush-hush, under the table sort of deals. No 1098 forms for me. I bet the IRS is onto me now. Fuck you.

I’m scared. How do people seem to grow up so easily? These people have smooth moves like they downed a bottle of Ex Lax. I’m walking through adulthood like I have an umbrella up my twat!

Everything seemed pre-planned in my life up until now; there were definitely guidelines. It could go in a number of directions now. It’s liberating but so, so frightening.

I think what’s really getting at me is the possibility of my having to move away from the people I’ve built relationships with. The little brothers, Alex and Abe, my sisters, Ellie, Kelsey, and Timi, my crew teammates… Michael.

I’ve been uprooted quite a bit… and it hurt every time.

Please, please, please. 

Let me stay.

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