I Need My Headphones

I left my earbuds in my apartment before I went to class. Big. Fucking. Mistake.

I heard everything.

Listen, that’s nothing. I haven’t had sex in nine months.

THAT’S A REALLY LONG TIME! ARE YOU EVEN TRYING MAN?!

I’m going to remodel her shithole.

I started to laugh really hard when I heard this one… mostly because they were two gangly-looking, pasty-skinned dudes. Eh, I shouldn’t judge. He could be packing heat.

I am back in my apartment to pick up my beloved neon orange hearing devices so I can go for a run and be a fit bitch. It’s one thing to listen to people chat, quite another to hear people pant, grunt, and groan.

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