This one time I was out with some classmates at a bar in Tampa. Everyone was over 21 except for me; I was 19. It wasn’t my first time around booze (thank you, Dennis, for making me a regular at Polly’s Kettle House on Hooker Hill… I am a high-functioning alcoholic now), so I tried to reason with the bouncer:
“Kid, alcohol is only for people 21 and up.”
“I think we both know that’s like saying lesbian porn is only for lesbians.”
He let me into the bar and told me to shut up.