Back story for my previous post.

I used to be a nanny for these two brothers, Colin (5) and Ronin (3). I was 19 years old and didn’t know jack shit about kids, but the job paid extremely well. Considering I had no past experience with children besides teaching English to elementary schoolers, I’m certain I landed the job because Colin and Ronin were happas (Japanese mother, Irish-American father) and I could pass as an extremely older sister.

This family was loaded and they spent their money like it was water. For instance, when they asked for my price they doubled it. I could’ve paid for my college tuition here in about 10 weeks with what they were throwing my way. They also lent me a car so I could drive to and from their house from my university. I had to take pictures of the odometer though; they didn’t want me joy riding around the city… not that I would have; I didn’t have a stateside license at the time. #Rebel

I didn’t know families like theirs existed. It was like living in a movie whenever I went to their house on the waterfront. The father was some big shot banker or businessman of some sort (I hardly saw him and was thoroughly creeped out when I did see him); mother spent all her time shopping and gossiping with other rich trophy wives. She was so weird to me; I had never seen an Asian woman behave in such a… I don’t know, western manner. She treated her children like accessories except when she needed to put on a show of loving them. She’d hug Colin, scoop up Ronin… and then plop him in my arms before spinning on her designer heels to speak with another socialite. She loved being a shitty person but hated having an audience.

And let’s not forget the shit she doped her kids with. She had them on Ritalin because they were “hyperactive.” Bitch, kids have a lot of energy; that’s normal. When she told me all the meds they had to take I thought, “Oh, this is why I’m getting paid so much. They’re special needs kids.” Wrong. By complete accident, I forgot to dope up the kiddies before we went to the dog park. Yeah, they were a bit more chatty in the car, but again, that’s normal… For once, it wasn’t freakishly quiet because they weren’t mini zombies.

I didn’t give them anymore of that shit and I’m not sure how much trouble I could get into for that.

Anyhow… I loved those kids. I’d never had little things depend on and adore me so much except for my dog. They were like puppies that could talk! And man, Colin talked my ears off…and he cursed like an Irish coal miner caught in a cave-in. I reckon he picked it up from his father.

The father, that fucking creep, the reason why I never spent the night because the guest room was next to his office. His eyes lingered far too long in all the wrong places on my body. Always asking why I never had a boyfriend and likening me to a younger version of his wife. It’s enough to make you clutch your pearls.

One night he said he’d drive me back to school. The wife raised her eyebrows. I knew I was fired when I saw those waxed lines of hair knit into a frown. “She has the car we lent her.”

“Well maybe I want to use her car tomorrow. I’ll take her home and drive back with it.” He had an edge to his voice. A man in a nice suit who is so vile. I would’ve burned my hair to avoid riding in a car alone with him. I heard the car keys jingle. My cue to head to the garage. The hallway was death row.

He followed behind me too closely. He leaned against the car door, leering at me, his face inches in front of mine before he opened the passenger door for me. To this day I hate it when someone gets the door for me. I sat down and didn’t fasten my seat belt. Please let me die before this asshole pulls some shit. The car started, I saw the wife at the bay windows, and we were off to the races.

He asked if I had boyfriend. No. “How’s a pretty girl like you avoid all the college boys?” They don’t like me. “Maybe you don’t like them. Maybe you’re looking for a man.” Powerful men aren’t subtle.

He pulled into a parking spot outside of my dorm. “So…” He placed his hand on the center console close to my thigh. Holy fucking shit he’s gonna do me in his car! I freaked out; I burst into a cold sweat; I grasped my fingers and clenched my legs together defensively. “You seem nervous…or excited.” He leaned in and and took a deep breath of my hair.

I wanted to scream. “NOPE. NERVOUS. DEFINITELY NERVOUS. I’VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WITH A BOY AND I’VE NEVER EVEN BEEN KISSED AND I’M REALLY TIRED SO GOODNIGHT.” I felt his hand creep to my inner thigh; I flung open the car door and ripped away from his caress. If I’m not fired I’m quitting. Fuck this shit. I made a mad dash to the residence hall and threw looks over my shoulder every few feet to make sure he wasn’t following.

The next morning I woke up to a text from the mother with some bullshit excuse about how my leaving for Korea wouldn’t be healthy for the kids and that they should find a permanent nanny. I called and she let me talk to the little ones. I wish I had said something important or profound to them. “I believe in you, I will always believe in you, and I’ll be there when you prove them wrong.” It was the best I had.

Esprit de l’escalier.

3 thoughts on “Nanny

  1. I told him to call for anything. There are a few aspects to the story that I left out that would clarify why my checking in would be very out of line. I’m not sure if Colin has his own cell phone now or if I run the risk of speaking with his parents. It’s a messy situation that I would rather, to be completely honest, leave alone. But little kids need someone to protect them from the shitty things in life.


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