Call from Colin

I just received a very disturbing phone call from Colin, a kid I used to nanny for. I didn’t even know he had my number so I was very surprised to hear his little voice on the other end of the line. I knew something was wrong as soon as he said “hello.” It hurt my heart to hear what he said.

Colin: …Jecca. Do you love me?

Me: Of course I do, kiddo. Always, always. …is everything okay?

Colin:

Me: You still there, kiddo?

Colin: I don’t think my mom loves me. She said… I was a mistake.

He started sobbing on the phone. It was painful to listen to. I wanted to cry too. I wanted to hold him and make sure nothing ever harmed him. I also wanted to punch his shitty fucking mother in the mouth. That bitch has no business being a parent.

Me: Sweetheart, my little Colin, you have no idea how special and important you are. Sometimes parents get angry and say things they don’t mean-

Colin: *hiccoughing* May-may-maybe I can fix it. (Christ, I almost lost it when he said that.)

Me: Shhhh… There’s nothing you need to fix, kiddo. You are the coolest, funniest, sweetest, and most interesting kid I know. You’re sooooo special and I love the shit outta you.

Colin: I miss you, Jecca. I love you too. (I wanted to steal a car and drive down to Florida to see him.)

I tried to calm him down a bit, but I’m not sure it worked very well. I told him to lie down and close his eyes, and then I sang a few songs (he likes Heaven Can Wait by Meatloaf; what a kid). I listened to him cry and try to catch his breath during the whole thing; it was awful. He said he was tired. I told him to sleep and that he’d feel better when the sun was up.

I hope I didn’t tell him a lie.

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