Karaoke Queen

I, like just about every other Asian person, like karaoke.

For my father’s 50th birthday, my family and all of the people at his office had Korean BBQ and went to a karaoke joint.

I got hammered on Seoul Trains (think sake bombs only with beer that tastes like baby piss that’s been vomitted back up and mixed with a synthetic rice wine). And then I picked up the microphone and said, “This one’s for you, Pops!” and sang Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach.” I was a god…in my head.

But the social massacre of Jessica didn’t end there. I stood up and said, “AND THIS ONE’S FOR MEEEEEE!” …and sang “Like a Virgin.” My mama ripped the mic out of my hands; my dad high fived me. 

Mum thinks I drank water for the rest of the night. It was really 소주 in a water bottle, courtesy of my father’s employees.

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